


Internal

by theafterlifeoftheparty



Category: BLURRYFACE - Twenty One Pilots (Album), Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe, Delusions, Ghosts, Mental Illness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-27
Updated: 2017-02-27
Packaged: 2018-09-27 08:40:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 15,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9987461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theafterlifeoftheparty/pseuds/theafterlifeoftheparty
Summary: Hayley Walker is a social outcast in her small town. A dare gone lead her friendless and alone - waking up next to your friends dismembered corpse takes a toll on a person. Ever since then, on the rare occurrence that she was actually able to sleep, she would always have the same dream. Piercing eyes and a mysterious voice always seemed to peek through. It wasn't until she started hearing the voice outside her dreams that she decided something was wrong.Deemed schizophrenic, the residents of her small town began to think she was responsible for the murder of her best friend, Jessica. Music is her sanity and the only escape of her damaged life, the only thing getting her through the day. But when Sunnydale high gets new students advertising the schools new music program, something familiar sticks out in one of the boys. His eyes. The voice. It's him.





	1. Chapter 1

\--------- Flashback --------------

"Okay Hayls, you first," Jessica said, her blonde hair spiralled in ringlets falling just around her shoulder.

She was trying to get me to go into our towns 'haunted house'. Superstitious or not, the house was creepy as is. A faded white picket fence with chipped and missing pieces surrounded the large intimidating house, sharing a common look. Off white aluminium siding hung loosely around the structure. Smashed windows were boarded up, the towns attempt at keeping the youth from entering. Of course, within a week they had found a way inside.

It wasn't always like this, though. It actually used to look kind of pretty for its day. Gardens carefully tended by the middle aged couple who had originally built the house. It was usually the wife you would see outside, in a patio chair enjoying the sun and the days fresh breeze. The husband was more to himself, staying inside most of the time and, when night fell, he would always creep around the house in case of intruders, rifle in hand. I wouldn't be surprised if he slept with it under his pillow when he did get the chance to rest.

Since both of them were retired and found their finances weakening, the upper floors were turned into 2 apartment type rooms, each having their own front doors and staircase. It was a beautiful house at the time.

I was just a newborn when the accident happened. The town refuses to speak about what happened in there. Stories are going around saying that the crazy husband eventually snapped and murdered everyone who lived there, and, before he could inflict any harm on the neighbour,s the services came and shot him dead.

At least that's what I've picked up. I've only heard bits and pieces from different tellings because whoever would dare to talk about it would always get in trouble. Apparently ghost stories are frowned upon here.

The town eventually began re-selling the house and, strangely enough, whenever some clueless new homeowners would move in, something would happen to them. Soon, people stopped buying, the town gave up, and it just rotted away to this. Oh, and did I mention I happen to live beside it?

A push from behind made me jump.

"I thought you didn't believe in the stories." That was Matt. He had short brown hair and Ive had the biggest crush on him ever since 3rd grade.

"That doesn't make it any less scary" I justified. "It's past midnight, we're 14 and its an old abandoned house. No way am I going in there." I really didn't like that place. Having to live beside it was torturing enough. And they wanted me to go inside it? Not happening.

"Come on, toughen up. You can hold my hand if you want," I heard him mumble. I looked away, hoping he wouldn't notice the blush that had spread across my face. He chuckled behind me. I Guess I hoped wrong.

After what seemed like an eternity of coaxing and somewhat flirting with Matt, I finally started walking towards the abandoned house. It was even more eerie at night. The only source of light were our flashlights and whichever porch lights were still on from the neighbours homes. I could hear the giggles and swooning of the rest of the group behind me as Matt caught up and held my hand, intertwining our fingers.

"It's just a house, don't sweat it. You only need to be in there for 5 minutes, that's it. The dare will be over before you know it." He spoke just low enough for me to hear. He was sweet when he wanted to be. Our hands separated and he pulled me in for a last hug before I went in. Somehow, he seemed nervous for me. He looked down at me and, before I could register what was happening, his lips were on mine. My first real kiss with the guy I'd been head over heels for ever since I could remember. It was really happening. We pulled apart, staring into each others eyes for a brief moment before I took a deep breath and walked in the house.

It wasn't too tough to get into, since it was an ideal smoke spot for druggies, and there were many loose boards and entrance ways. My hands were shaking as I made my way through the dark abyss, the steady beam of my flashlight my guide.

A rat scooted in front of me, causing me to jump back with an embarrassing squeal. The inside of the house was very musky and humid. Mould was forming around patches of broken drywall, along with swarms of cockroaches. Trying to stay clear of that section, I shone my light on the fridge, which had splotches of brown stuff on it. Blood. I spun around and shone my light on the walls around me. More blood.

Brown and red splotches seemed to surround me, appearing from all over the house. I started to hyperventilate. How could there be fresh blood when it's been abandoned for years? Moving backwards, I tripped over a lump on the floor. Shining my light on that, to my absolute horror, the rotten, decaying remains of a human body lay right beside me. My brain was still processing what I'm seeing when a large shadow crossed into my field of view. I knew it wasn't my mind playing tricks on me because it was looking right into my eyes. Deep red irises and a twisted smile. Razor sharp teeth poking through its lips, covered with flesh. It's limbs were slunk over, long sharp fingers protruding from its hands. I dropped my flashlight. It started to bend down, when a loud noise pierced the air. I realized I was screaming. Not just a scared scream, but the loudest, most blood-curdling, scream one can conjure.

The panicked shuffles of my friends could be heard along with debates on what to do. The figure cocked it's head, noticing the others.

"I don't care! I'm going in, she needs fucking help!" I heard Jessica plead.

"Fuck that, I'm leaving." Matt spat. I could hear his footsteps running off.

I took it that the rest were in shock, as there was no noise coming from them, just sharp breaths. Wood was ripped from the window, and Jessica landed on the ground.

"HAYLEY!!" She screamed, frantically looking around. The figure looked in her direction, then back to me, as a sick smile crossed it's face.

"... Jess... No..." It felt as if a hundred pound weight was on my chest, making it hard to breathe. The figure dashed away, then everything went black.

________________________

I woke up in a different setting. It was pitch black but I could tell from the thicker air and cold cement brushing against my cheek. Many useless attempts at standing up result in me rolling around the ground like an idiot. My senses slowly start come back. I heard a ruffling sound close by. I turned my head, and my eyes slowly adjusted to see another figure, similar to the one earlier, but smaller. As soon as I looked into it's eyes, all my nerves seemed to disappear. Instead of bright red, it's eyes were more like a swirl of amber with specks of brown and green that I could get lost in forever. They adjust slightly, now looking sympathetic, yet reassuring. It's weird how eyes can show so much emotion.

A disgusting slurping noise sends my focus to the corner of the room. Then, with my eyes fully adjusted, I could tell where I was; under a bed, seemingly unnoticed by the terrifying creature just a few feet away from me. It was slunked over... something.

Complete terror overwhelmed me. The shadow was hunched over a lump on the ground, ripping apart whatever is before it and bringing it to its mouth, sharp teeth dripping with flesh and fresh blood. When I realized what the lump was, I almost fainted. Ribs ripped open, organs all over the ground, a slashed throat trailing up to empty looking blue eyes covered by blood soaked hair. Jessica. It was eating Jessica.


	2. Chapter 2

\----------------- 2 Years Later --------------------

I'm floating. Nothing is bringing me up and nothing is bringing me down, I'm surrounded by absolutely nothing. Pure darkness surrounds me and I am left alone yet again, unable to talk or move. The dark seems inviting but everything in my body is telling me to get away, so I just stay there, like a rag doll in water, going wherever the current takes me. Darker swirls would occasionally twirl around me, but there was always this one that left me in pure terror. It's the same shadow from the night my best friend was murdered, always seeming to follow me and let its presence known.

It starts to crouch but before it can do anything a second figure comes into frame. It's looks like the monster, dark and slender, but a smaller version, looking more human. Despite it's vulnerable size it doesn't back down from the intense stare down. Strangely enough, the larger shadow backs down and fades back into nothing. The figure in front of me turns around, his hand outstretches towards me.

"It's okay, come with me, you will be alright." It speaks in the most mysterious tone, and deep amber eyes peer at me, swirling with different shades of brown and flecks of musky green.They are less startling than the monster from before. I can't even call this one a monster. Its voice is soft and his eyes are calming, looking somewhat human, or at least the closest thing to human I've seen in here. It's the same pair of eyes that were with me the night of Jessica's death.

With all of my strength I reach out my hand, and the instant our fingers touch I wake up to an abrupt beeping noise coming from beside me. My alarm clock glares in my eyes and I slap it off. I look around and notice I'm now in my bed, the baby blue duvet hanging off the edge of the bed, my old white walls now with markings all over them from when I had my fits of insanity and pain.

I've been having the same occurring dream almost every night since the 'accident'. Or at least that's what the officials are saying. I was there, I know what I saw, the shadow bending over her lifeless body eating her flesh, but they just keep saying my body was in shock from the stress of seeing her like that and my eyes were playing tricks on me. Yeah, right.

Throwing my legs over the side of my bed, I grab my purple iPod and throw it on my docking station setting it on shuffle mode like I do every morning. My duvet is left there as I get up to get ready for school. I cringe as I flip the light on in my bathroom, the switch from dark to light too fast making my eyes hurt.

I grab my toothbrush, squeeze some toothpaste on, and as I raise it to my mouth I look in the mirror to see a pair of eyes staring right at me. I scream and quickly turn around to see them gone in an instant. Thudding comes from the room beside me and my mother rushes in.

"Hayley! What the hell is going on! Are you alright?" She asks, half her head with curlers in her hair.

"T-there were eyes! Right there! I swear they were staring right at me!" I yell pointing to the corner of the bathroom. She just gives me a puzzled look and grabs my hand, bringing me to the bed.

"Have they started coming back again?" she asks me. For 6 months after Jess' death I would keep seeing the same brown and red eyes from that horrifying night attached to a dark shadow, yet nobody else seemed to. They loaded me up on every type of medication you could think of for the hallucinations.

Once the word got out that I was schizophrenic everyone started blaming me for the death of Jess, and that I killed her. Only I know I didn't. So if the town finds out the hallucinations are back they'll have me by my head. I couldn't let anyone know, so naturally I did what every other scared teenager would do.

"No, I guess not, I just woke up so it was probably just the shock from the light." I lied. She just gave me a soft smile, rubbed my shoulders, and walked out of the room. Like she would care anyways, she just pretends to want to help but really she tries to stay clear of me. She's never liked me that much since my father died when I was a newborn, I remind her too much of him and she stays away so she won't be reminded.

This mornings dilemma made me late, so I quickly slapped on a pair of acid washed blue skinny jeans and a black zip up hoodie with a tank top underneath. Running over to my dresser, I grabbed my rose quartz necklace I made when I was younger, before my life became so messed up.

I was playing in the yard outside, exploring the area and I somehow managed to find it in the grass. I made a makeshift holder using metal wire, found a chain, and voila a necklace was formed. I now wear it every day because it reminds me of how things used to be, how simple life was. That necklace was me, in a way. If I'm not with it I just feel so vulnerable, and since Jess I can't have that feeling anymore.

I quickly brushed my teeth and ran a brush through my long dark auburn hair before running out of my room and heading for the front door.

"Not so fast. Breakfast. Now." I hear my mom clear her throat behind me just as I reach the door.

"I'm not hungry, I'll be fine." I say, grabbing my bag and sneaking out the door. The all too familiar white house comes into view and I keep my eyes shut until I'm sure I've passed it. There's a pathway a few homes down that cuts through to a library where one of the bus stops are.

I don't take the school bus, there are too many people and too many stares, I'm usually alone except for the few people who decide to harass me or scream at me for God knows what, on the rare occasion I am approached I just put in my headphones and drown them out.

With the path in sight, I am just about to race across the street when I hear an alarming voice

"HALEY STOP!" I do as I'm told, from sudden shock, and I turn around to see who it could be. But when I do, I see nothing. Just me and a few squirrels on some of the neighbours lawns. Behind me, I could hear the engine and feel the rush of air as a truck zooms by. I would have been hit if it wasn't for that voice...

The voice from my dreams. The eyes. My hallucinations are definitely coming back. I rub my face and actually look both ways before I cross the street to get to the shortcut. I break out into a run when the time on my phone tells me I'm going to be late for school, and that means lots of attention walking into class. Something I don't need.

As I'm rounding the exit the one story library comes into view, the old brown shingles and stone peeking through the trees. Around the corner I can hear the engine of the bus just as I'm approaching the stop. The doors open and I'm greeted by a familiar face.

"Hi Joe!" I flash the bus driver a smile. He gives me a grin and a nod as I show him my bus pass and head to my usual seat in the front.

"What have you been up to, Haley?" He asks me. He's one of the few people in the town that are actually nice to me.

"Same old, same old. Mel wants me to go to her party but I'm not into that kind of thing. She'll just find ways to embarrass me." I reply.

"Again?" He asks. "Didn't she throw one last week?"

"Yeah, but you know her, if she can host one, she will. And always manages to bring me with her." I sigh. Joe is like a father figure to me. I tell him everything and he's always here to listen, really understanding, and gives the best advice. We continue small talk until we reach the stop that is outside Sunny dale High, my high school.

Yes, I know, like from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and because of that our mascot is now a Vampire. You can already tell our pep rallies must be interesting.

I get off the bus and and approach the school doors, putting in my headphones and my hood over my head. The bell rings as the different cliques make their way inside. Every school has cliques; there's the preps, usually the most 'popular' group only for the solemn reason that they have hooked up with almost everyone in the school.

The girls wear the tightest fitting clothes and only wear certain designer brands to accentuate every curve of their body, along with whatever heels they could find, which I seem to think they have a contest of seeing whos shoes can make the most annoying clicking sound when they walk. The boys are wrapped around their fingers, completely hypnotized by one thing; boobs.

Then you have the wanna-be's, trying to hard to be like the populars and it's so obvious. And of course they are completely dismissed by them. There's the normals, the geeks, the anime nerds, and then there's me. I don't really fit anywhere. I'm not normal but I'm not too much of an outcast.

Which is why I'm so surprised that my best friend, Melissa, is one of the populars. Why would she be hanging out with someone like me? I still don't know and I don't think I will ever manage to figure it out. She was there the night of Jessica's death and was the only one who believed my story. Everyone else either thought I was crazy or that I killed her out of jealousy.

Now, at school, everyone either stays clear of me, gives me a sympathetic look, or looks at me like I'm some freak. I don't mind, really, I prefer it this way. I don't really like people that much and I prefer just doing what I always do- sit at the back of the classroom and listen to music. They don't talk to me, I don't talk to them, everyone's happy.

"HAAALEEY!" A familiar yell pierces my thoughts. Melissa comes running up to me, her long jet black hair bouncing with each stride. Her face is lit up and the rest of her group of friends hesitantly catch up to her. A few disapproving looks are given to me, the rest avoiding eye contact. We all make our way into the school and the group separates as first period is about to begin.

I hear footsteps behind me as Matt squeezes in between us. "Hey, Mel." He says, stretching out both arms. He puts one around her and is about to do the same to me until he realizes who I am, and quickly puts it back to his side.

Since that night, which I will now be calling it, he has become more distant towards me. He doesn't want to be seen with the school's basket case, he also happens to be one of the many people blaming me for Jess. I mean, I do too, but I at least pretend to hide it.

We get to first period and I find my usual seat at the back of the room. Once attendance is called and our Math teacher, Ms. Albart, continues last weeks lesson on trigonometry, I figure it's about time to zone out.

I take my iPod from my bag and slip my headphones in, pulling my hood at the same time to disguise it. My head rests on my desk and I drift to sleep.

I drift through first and second period when lunch comes around. Melissa and Matt go off with their group of friends, and I go to my usual place in the library. I skip lunch, since there's no point in me attempting to socialize with people that wants nothing to do with me. I walk down to the main floor, passing the cafeteria and office to finally reach the library. The big brown doors open and close behind me, the librarian barely looking off of her computer screen to see who passes.

My black bag slops on the desk and I pull out my sketch book. My therapist thinks it's a good way to get all of my feelings out by using art. For me, it just gives me something to do.

I flip through the book passing old works of figures and creatures, mostly done in different shades of black. The only colourful bit in the whole thing are the eyes that keep appearing in my dreams. Golden amber swirls seeming to stare into me, the only hint of humanity in the pit of darkness surrounding it. I can never seem to perfect the eyes, and each day I try harder.

Of course with the good eyes come the bad ones. On almost every page I somehow managed to fit the monster with its sharp red eyes somewhere in my works. My therapist isn't too keen on them being everywhere, but she's the one who wants my mind out, and I always tell her I feel like it follows me.

The lunch period ends and I find myself finishing the amber eyes, this time with slightly more detail and more of a human form to the figure they belong to. Each of my works are kind of done subliminally, so I don't realize what I'm drawing until it's done.

A closer inspection and I can just make out the words in the background. Get out. I shudder and quickly pack my things back into my bag and head for my next class.

I can't really breeze through history, as my teacher, Mr. Collins, is a total nazi. He doesn't care about anything else other than work. Every day he tries to catch me off guard and humiliate me, but despite my constant zoning out I always manage to get him.

"Ms Walker, care to share your opinion?" Mr. Collins voice breaks through my train of thought.

"You can't really pick a side in the whole thing." I say, speaking very dull.

"Excuse me?" He asks.

"Well you can't expect to be happy with either side. We were the ones to drop a bomb on the Japanese, brutally murdering thousands of people. Sure, the government was threatening and stupid, but the citizens were all innocent." I state. "We could have easily settled it another way, and if violence was needed they could have targeted the government directly and not wipe out a vast section of the population."

"Well thats a-" He tries to but in, but I cut him off.

"At the same time Japan didn't do itself justice either. Multiple threats and attacks were brought out, and they acted like children, fighting fire with fire, each side getting more pissed off with each blow. So that, Mr. Collins, is my opinion." I finish and put my head down once again, as he stands there completely struck for a moment before continuing on.

The school day finishes quickly and I head out to the bus stop, ignoring everyone around me. I'm standing at the cross walk, waiting for it to change, when something catches my eye. In the middle of the road a girl just stands there, her blonde shoulder length curls blowing in the wind. Jessica.

Shocked, I'm just about to run across the street to get to her when a bus honks its horn. I look over and see Joe waving me over to hurry up. I look back and Jess is gone.

Shaking the thought from my head I rush over and get in the bus. Joe gives me a look and I just brush it off.

"It was nothing, don't worry." I say. He just looks back at the road and continues on the route. We didn't speak much this time, the bus was crowded and he could tell I was feeling off.

Dropped off at my usual spot, I begin the walk home, where I see a middle aged man walking towards the lot of the abandoned house. At that point I shut my eyes and run towards my house, shaking the thought out of my head. I cant let this ruin me anymore. I think. Change needs to be made.


	3. Chapter 3

Now in my room, I put my iPod on the speakers and grab my phone, dialing a number. While I wait for an answer, I look through my room until I find a small cardboard box with a models face on it, holding a cheesy smile.

"Hayls, what's up?" Melissa greets me.

"Hurry up and get over here. We're dying my hair." I tell her. I can practically hear her smiling through the phone.

"Of course! I'll be over in 5" She says excitedly before she hangs up.

I sit on my bed and anxiously wait for her, my thumb grazing over the top of the dye's box.

\---------------------

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Melissa asks me, both of us standing in my bathroom.

"Completely sure. I need something new. A fresh start. Something different." I say confidently.

She gives me a smile before mixing all of the dye in a bowl. The smell of chemicals hangs in the air as she starts applying the strange coloured mixture to my hair. In the time it took to apply it, we were singing, poorly, to whatever song came up on my iPod, and actually having fun.

I cherish moments like these, because since the accident I have rarely been able to have fun and be myself.

\----------------------

After half an hour the dye is finally washed out, I blow dry my hair and look in the mirror. Instead of the usual dark aburn hair that awaits me, a new person looks through. Thick blonde hair now hangs down a few inches above my belly button, my light skin making it look like my natural colour.

"Wow..." I hear Melissa gawk. "You look like... you."

I really take a look at myself and it brings me back to that day I made my necklace. I was naturally blonde, it wasn't too light but it didn't have any traces of brown in it. I was happy and care free and nothing could hurt me. I looked just like my dad. He had the same shade of blonde hair, and there was no doubt I was his child.

I only dyed my hair after Jessica died. It was my way of trying to shake anything that reminded me of her.

I didn't notice I was smiling until I saw Melissa smiling back through the mirror. Taking another long look at myself, the first time I really have in 2 years, finally made me appreciate myself. I never really taken a good look in a mirror since the accident, and come to think of it now I realized what I had. Perfect teeth, healthy hair that wasn't too wavy or too straight, and I had never had any problems with my skin.

Despite me being mentally fucked up I could have had a chance of being in the 'In Crowd' .

My thoughts were interrupted when a pillow flew into the side of me.

"Come on Aphrodite," Melissa said sarcastically, giggling.

"Your reflection will always be there, you can boast some other time. For now, we are having fun."

My face lit up with a huge smile. I was truly happy. For once I am genuinely happy and nothing can ruin it.

"You're such a bitch" I say laughing. "Oh Meeellll..." I drag out the words. She looks at me just as I throw the pillow right back at her and she falls to the ground with a thud. She glares at me for a moment before we both just break down laughing our heads off.

The night continued on us messing around and being stupid. It was all interrupted by the sound of footsteps downstairs.

"Shit." I say. We stop laughing.

"My mom's home." I look at Melissa. She just nods and grabs her bag.She knows how my mom is, I've been able to tell her everything. At least, almost everything.

She slung her back over her shoulder and climbed out my window. I'm usually hesitant about her walking home at night, but she needed to be out of sight, now.

"Joe should be here in about a minute" I whisper. I knew his bus schedule like the back of my hand.

Melissa gives me the thumbs up and makes her way off the lot. A few minutes pass and my door is thrown open to reveal my sloppy mother.

"You." She looks at me, pointing her finger.

"How dare you- you look so much like him." She points out my hair, her speech slurred.

"You know, if it wasn't for you he would still be here. You always think everything is about you. Well guess what, princess, it's not. You really want to know why he died? To make sure his darling daughter would be safe." She states.

"W-what?" I ask, stuttering.

"He went over to that nut jobs house to make sure that it was a safe environment for you. And you know what happened? He killed him. Because of you your father is dead. And I could never tell you because you've always been so fucked up, I'm so ashamed to call you my daughter. I always had to hide you and keep you away from everyone so they wouldn't think you were a disaster because of me. That I had the crazy gene you have. You were my biggest mistake."

Every word she said stabbed me in the heart, and half way through I couldn't contain my tears.

"You know what." I started.

"I may have been your biggest mistake, but you are just down right pathetic. You go and drink your problems away like it will bring dad back but it wont. People don't ignore you because of me, they ignore you because you're you. You're the bitch. You're a terrible mother, too. Not once do you ever try to talk to me or help me. You pretend and walk away when I try. You're horrible. Dad got the right idea, the only way he could get away from you was death, and I bet he was happy he finally found a way out."

She just looked at me, struck. I walked up to her about to usher her out when I felt a hand smack against the side of my face, forcing me on the ground.

"Ungrateful little bitch" She spat. I stood up, shoved her out, and slammed the door in her face.

I rubbed my face where she hit to feel a mark already forming. I ran across my room, grabbed a hoodie, and climbed out my window.

Before I knew it, I was standing in front of the old white house. I didn't care anymore. I wanted to die.

"Haley, no." The voice came through again. I ignored it.

My vision was blurry from my tears and I just layed down on the grass in front of the house. I could see 2 sets of eyes staring at me through the windows of the house. Red and amber. Evil and good. But I just didn't have the energy to care.

"Take me with you..." I whispered into the ground and blacked out.


	4. Chapter 4

"Run!" The voice yells at me. Each night it's becoming clearer and clearer, the dark figure starting to take on more of a human form, the voice improving as well. From what I can gather, it belongs to a teenage male around my age.

"What are you waiting for, Hayley? RUN!" He yells again, a panicked tone raising in his voice.

I obey and my legs start to move. I don't know where I'm going but I know I need to go somewhere. Again, everything is still black and I'm left travelling aimlessly through the dark abyss.

I glance back to see the monster chasing after me, it's hungry red eyes focused completely on me. Unlike the other shadow, this one is getting worse, looking more and more evil. 

Behind it I could just make out the amber eyes of the friendly shadow, chasing after the beast, desperately trying to catch it. That seems to always happen in the dreams, the beast tries to get me, and the shadow trying to get it away from me. I know they're just dreams but I wonder what would happen if one night it were to finally reach me.

The sun's rays beam down on my closed eye lids, forcing me awake. I jolt up quickly, trying to take in my surroundings, only to find myself back in my room. But how? I don't remember ever waking up to come back inside. Or maybe it was all a dream?

Throwing my legs over the side of my bed and hoisting myself up, I head to the bathroom. As the lights flicker on, I do a double take in the mirror noticing my blonde hair. This will have some getting used to. Turning my head with further inspection, I find a big purple bruise on the side of my face. I guess that bit wasn't a dream.

I get back to my usual routine, starting by throwing on whatever clean clothes I can find laying around, preferably with a hood. Back in the washroom, I brush my teeth and hair and pull out my makeup bag. I dig through to get my foundation which I use to cover the dark circles under my eyes from my usually sleepless nights, and now over my newfound bruise, wincing slightly at the touch.

After experimenting with different shades of cover up, once I feel like the bruise is hidden well enough I continue on my way to school. Downstairs, I grab a bagel and juice, forcing it down my throat as fast as I can so I won't miss the bus. With a short glance at my mother, passed out on the couch, I make my way outside.

"Don't ever do that again" I hear the familiar voice say.

"Nice hair, by the way." I look over to the house, I see the friendly shadow sitting on the front porch just out of the sunlight. I look around to make sure nobody is around me to answer.

"Do what? Why won't you get out of my head. I can't afford to be filled up with more meds." I whisper. He chuckles.

"If I'm in your head than how come I'm standing right here?" There's a slight pause.

"What's so funny? What am I even doing. Talking to nothing. Wow, great going, now I'm definitely crazy." I trail off, turning my back. Another laugh escapes the shadow.

"Just... Be careful, Hayley." He says quietly.

"Why should I be taking advice from a figment of my imagina-" I turn back around and any trace of him is gone.

I give myself a mental slap and continue on my way to the bus stop. I really need to stop feeding the hallucinations or they will just get worse. But for some reason, this time I didn't have the build up of anxiety and fear when I passed the house. Today it was just a normal house and a somewhat normal conversation with a not-so-normal shadow.

I hear the engine of the bus as it pulls up to the stop. I get on, flashing my pass when Joe takes a double take.

"Hayley? I barely recognized ya!" He proclaims. I giggle slightly.

"Yup! All me! I wanted something new and it was a heat of the moment thing. But I feel good. And that counts for something at least!" I say cheerfully and sit in the seat closest to him.

"We'll it suits ya, darling. I'm happy for you. Now let's get you to school in time, yeah?" He asks.

I nod and look out the window, watching the blur of the town zoom by me. Within 10 minutes we pull up to the school. I take a deep breath and try to walk as confidently as possible to the school doors.

"Hey there... " I hear a senior say. I just look down and smile at myself.

A few unsure stares here and there and Matt approaches me.

"Hey, you need help with anything?" He puts his arm around me.

"I can show you a few places here and there, don't hesitate to call me." He winks.

"Uh..." I look up at him and his smile quickly fades.

"OH GOD HAYLEY!?" He jumps, quickly moving his arm. "I mean, uh, sorry." He gets out before running away.

A few minutes later and Melissa runs up beside me.

"Hey Hayls, how's the new you coming along?" She asks with a smile.

"It's good." I lie. I mean I feel a little better and all but the thing with Matt... I can't tell her about it. She doesn't seem to notice how he is towards me.

Now inside the school, we start heading to our classes.

"What the hell." A girl says at the end of the hall as she sees my face. I just keep walking.

"Heeeeey-my God." I hear a guy finally realize it's me. I can't let this get to me. I have to show my confidence, or at least fake it. To have a somewhat normal life. Things have to change and I have to make it.

The day went on a little better than normal, but not much. I actually got somewhat involved in class discussions.

I make my way to the guidance room at the school, where I see my therapist twice a week. I knock on the door and she gives me a welcoming smile as I sit on the couch.

"New hair, I see. What made you decide to change it?" She asks.

"Well, I just felt like I needed to get my life in check again. I needed to be me and stop trying to hide all the time. I think one of the main reasons was my dad I think. I needed to feel more connected to him. And it reminded me of life before, when everything was better and life was good. So I want to go back to that and try to feel good." I sigh.

"I think that's some excellent progress." She gives me a smile an scribbles stuff down in her notebook.

"Now, Hayley, how are the hallucinations holding up?"

"They're not hallucinations!" I exclaim, a little too loud.

"I told you what I saw that night was true. Something was there. And it wasn't normal. How else can you explain that she was murdered, and eaten, with absolutely no trace of anyone being there for weeks!"

She looks at me for a moment, a shocked expression on her face from the outburst.

"I've told you multiple times, that's your way of coping with the whole situation. Your subconscious mind creating this creature to protect yourself from the truth." She starts to speak like an open textbook.

"So, the question. How are the hallucinations?" She adds.

"Non existent because THEY'RE NOT HALLUCINATIONS!" I yell, frustrated.

"So is that a yes or a no?" She asks.

"... No" I lie. She just raises an eyebrow and looks at the time.

"Well our session is up, see you next week, Walker." She says.

I just give her an annoyed look as I get up and walk out the door.

I'm in such a bad mood now because of that visit, I don't even bother taking the bus. I just walk instead, slipping in my headphones.

"Well that's no fun." I hear someone say. I spin around to find nobody around.

"Oh great, it's you." I sigh, taking out my headphones. "What do you want?"

"Can't a guy just have a decent conversation for once?" He asks.

"It's not a conversation if it's only one person." I say. He just laughs.

"Oh Hayley, you have so much to learn." He says, still slightly chuckling.

"How do you know my name anyways?" I ask. What am I doing. He seems so real.

"I know everything, Hayley. I know your mom is an alcoholic, you have to take meds every morning, you secretly wish you had friends but are too scared to admit it because all you've ever known is alone.

You carry that necklace around like its your baby, which is rose quartz by the way. Uh what else? Your favourite colour is purple and you still can't seem to figure out if what you saw the night of the 'murder' was true, what your therapist is saying is true, or maybe deep down you feel like you may have been responsible for it." He says proudly.

I just stop in awe.

"So you stalk me?" I ask

"Not necessarily stalk. More of an observer, a trying-to-help you sort of thing. You're welcome, by the way."

"Hah. Sure. When has a figment of my imagination ever actually helped me?" I spit.

"Remember when that Ashley girl fell down the stairs after she and her friends were yelling at you saying you were the reason for Jess?" He asks. I nod.

"Yeah that wasn't an accident. The bitch deserved it though, she was planning something worse, I could tell. She needed to be... Disabled, for a while."

I let out a laugh. A few minutes of silence later I find myself walking passed the abandoned house, a familiar shadow greeting me. I just keep walking towards my house. There, I climb up the cracks in the stone until I reach the roof, taking a seat.

"You also like being out here. That is for sure." The shadow is now beside me.

"What are you even doing, leave me alone! Just as I start to get my life in order you come here and ruin everything. Let me live my life with sanity for crying out loud!" I snap.

A sudden chill and he is gone. So is that all it takes to get them away?

I don't notice I was crying until my face was dripping with tears. Not wanting to be in view of the house, I make my way down to solid ground, get inside, go into my room and just sleep the pain away.


	5. Chapter 5

I wake up from the suns rays shining through my blinds, into my eyes. Pulling the covers over my face to shield the light, but instead I end up getting tangled with them and landing on the ground with a thud.

"Ow..." I groan as I slowly lift myself off the ground. It's Wednesday, which means the day after tomorrow is Melissa's party. Which, she just so happens to be forcing me to go. I guess people usually don't mind me. I mean, I'm not that approachable but I'm not the center of everyones lives, their hateful target. I just drift through mostly unnoticed, just the way I like it.

"I'm going to work, there's take-out in the fridge!" I hear my mom yell from downstairs. The front door slams shut before I have the time to respond.

I pace around my room, taking a few mental notes.

1\. I haven't had a dream since Monday. Three days clean of any disturbances.

2\. Three days of normalcy.

3\. I'm better off without my 'mother'

4\. My head has been voice free for three days

5\. I'm not crazy

6\. I'm becoming me again.

7\. I'm definitely not crazy.

I get along to do my morning routine, starting out with a long shower. The water droplets help calm me, my worries washing off as each run off my body. After I dry off, I get to brushing my teeth and hair, grabbing whatever clean clothes I had and the appropriate coloured hoodie, and put on my under-eye concelear with a subtle eyeliner to finish it off.

One last look at myself in the mirror, and I sigh and give myself reassurance. "You are you. Nothing can change that."

With that, I rush downstairs and grab whatever Chinese food my mother managed to spare for me. She's never one on making meals, so she always orders our food. And by our I mean I get whatever she didn't devour. Opening the white styrofoam box, I see an eggroll and two chicken balls along with bits of half eaten unrecognizable food.

"How thoughtful." I sigh to myself as I pick out the scavenged pieces of food. Chomping those down in less than a minute, I grab my bag and head out the door.

A glance over at the abandoned house, the unsettling feeling coming back, and still no sign of my shadowy friend. Friend? No, annoyance. I couldn't deny it to myself, it did feel a little lonely without him. I'm almost always on my own and besides Mel, he was the only company I had.

Soon enough I'm at the bus stop, Joe arriving just as I get there.

"Hey Joe." I say, unenthusiastically.

"Morning, Hayley. What's got you down?" He asks me. He always seems to know when something's wrong.

"Nothing really," I say, taking a seat near the front like I always do, "Just missing a friend, that's all." I admit. He raises an eyebrow.

"So is that a friend or a friend?" He asks with a wink, stretching out the last word.

"Trust me, just a friend." I laugh nervously. The small talk died a few minutes later, the rest of the bus ride was left silent.

I know my shadow friend has only been around for a while, but he makes me feel better. Most of the time. The other bit he's just a bird chirping in my ear, refusing to go away. Technically, he's been there for me since Jess, in my dreams. Only recently it's been when I'm actually conscious. But now I've managed to drive him away in both.

My thoughts seem to contradict eachother. He's real and he's not real. He's my friend and he's not. I miss him and I don't. Why doesn't my mind just pick one already?

The bus approaches the school and I grab my bag and start to head off the bus when a hand grabs my shoulder.

"Excuse me," A voice asks.

I turn around to see a teenage boy, seemingly around my age, about 5'9, short brown hair, his eyes a swirl of different shades of brown. He has a grey zip-up sweater over a black t-shirt, wearings jeans and skater shoes.

"I think you dropped this." He said while reaching out his hand, inside is my purple ipod rests safely, tangled in my headphones. I feel my cheeks starting to blush.

"T-thanks." I stutter. Wow, an attractive guy actually pays attention to you- actually does something nice for you and you decide now's a good time to get your words stuck in your throat. 

I take my ipod and shove it in the pockets of my hoodie before racing out of the bus and into the school, not bothering to look back.

Inside, Mel quickly spots me and grabs my hand.

"Come on Hayls!" She says excitedly.

"What is it nooow?" I ask, bracing myself for whatever stupid idea she's planning on pursuing.

"I'm getting you out of here. Plus, I want to make sure everything's ready for tomorrow. Since you're sleeping over, we'll stop off at your place, grab your things, then to mine. We're having a girls' night!" She exclaims in one big sentence, practically bouncing in the spot.

Clearly I didn't have a say in any of this as she was dragging me out to her car before I could get a word out. It took a shorter time to get to my house since we could take the back roads and didn't have to stop every intersection like Joe did.

Mel waited in the car while I went to go get a change of clothes, PJ's, toothbrush, and the rest of my necessities. Running up the driveway, I glance over at the abandoned house, my shadow friend nowhere in sight. Quickly grabbing everything I needed, I run back outside and into the car.

"Calm down, Hayls, it's not like you're going to get busted by the cops for skipping school. You've done it before, so why are you all tensed?" She asks me.

"It's nothing." I assure her. "Let's just get going, okay?" I look at her with a smile.

It was only about a 3 minute drive from my house to Mels, and damn, were our homes so different. Mine was smaller, mostly stone with some siding, and hers on the other hand, was practically a mansion. Her back yard was huge with a pool, hot tub, and trampoline. The exterior of the house had the lower half stone and the upper part stucco, looking very modern and into all of the new real estate trends.

The instant we enter the house, she grabs my iPod and hooks it into her docking station, where the surround sound speakers blare it all throughout the house. I love how she uses my iPod, how she knows that I need that little comfort and peace since I rarely get any at home.

Before we know it, we're in our pyjama pants and tank tops jumping and dancing off whatever is in our way as we waltz across the house while singing at the top of our lungs. Giggling all the way, the rest of the day lasted like that; having fun and letting all of our troubles go, completely forgetting about the past and thinking about now instead.

The sun had set and we decided to watch a movie. Going into the den, we went to our usual seats, her on the big couch and I curled up on a smaller matching loveseat, both of us wrapped up in a million blankets.

She turned on the TV and started up the menu, looking for movies that were on-demand. On our journey there, we stumbled across the 'Adult' section. The titles immediately changed to things we didn't even know were possible, all while making disturbing noises and making fun of the... unique... names of the films.

After those disturbing moments we finally found the teen movies and played a random horror movie. Instead of watching it normally, like most teens do while being scared out of their minds, we have our own twist. It's always been that way for us; we've never been able to sit through a horror movie seriously. We always have to make our own commentary while pointing out how stupid the characters are.

Once the movie was done, we walked back into the main area of the house, giggling and recalling the events of the movie, making our own review.

"I mean come on, why didn't they just think to put the dead guy's stuff back. Like earth to stupid! You take a dead dude's favourite possession, he follows you, dead guy haunts you, dead guy makes you dead girl. If they had just put it back where they found it after the first thing happened then they could have still been alive." Melissa states.

"I know right? If that were me I would have given it back in a heartbeat. I don't want no creepy things attached to me." I said back jokingly. But you do have creepy things following you. I thought, but shook it out of my mind right after.

"Lets be realistic, if that were you, you wouldn't have even taken it in the first place." She said back, turning my iPod back on.

"Shut up! I'm not a complete goody two shoes." I replied. We looked at eachother for half a second before bursting out laughing.

"Uh-huh" She said between giggles. "You think that."

All was going well until Melissa got up and brought out a bottle of Jack Daniels out of the kitchen cupboard, taking a swig. She was about to take another before I spoke up.

"Melissa, please, not now. Don't ruin tonight." I said quietly. She hesitated, the bottle centimeters from her lips.

"What?" She asked, keeping the bottle in place.

"You know how I feel about everything, with my mom and all..." I trailed off. I always get uncomfortable when people close to me drink. It just brings back bad experiences with my mother. It don't mind it at a party, it's a group event and teenagers are bound to get drunk, I'm just not okay with them getting drunk when I'm one of the only people there for them to take out their anger on.

"Oh. Sorry, Hayls." She said, feeling guilty. She put the bottle back in her cupboard. "But you can't stop me forever. Like friday night for example, but it will be fine, don't you worry." She added before going back to dancing.

The bad thing about her is that she can go from seeming to care about me, to being the most selfish and arrogant person ever. It can be difficult, but that's just her and I'm going to have to deal with it.

"Actually, I think I'm going to go to sleep, I'm feeling tired out." I lied. She just got me in a really bad mood and since I can't leave I have to stick it out.

"Okay!" She says, going back to her dancing. I practically live here, so it's not like she has to be beside me all the time, and right now I'm happy it's not like that. I just want to be alone.

I headed up the stairs and opened up the doors to her bedroom. Inside, a few band posters hang off of the clean violet-coloured walls along with a few black decals of trees. A king size bed sits in the middle of the back wall, a black duvet with violet birds, matching the walls. Her bookshelves were stacked to full capacity, and if one thing's certain- Melissa loves reading. She doesn't come off as the bookworm type but I'm one of the few people to know that.

With a running start, I jump and flop onto the bed, the duvet rustling beneath me. I quickly wrap myself in the covers, and before I drift off to sleep I whisper quietly "Please, come back, I miss you."


	6. Chapter 6

It's dark. I can't see anything except for myself, other than that, complete darkness surrounds me.

"You called?" I heard the familiar voice I've been secretly longing to hear for the past few days.

"Where the hell were you?!" I almost yelled.

"Well that wouldn't be any fun if I told you, now would it?" I turn around to where the shadow awaits me, his warm eyes glistening at me. I just give him a look.

"So I take it about now, like every night for the past 3 years, that monster shadow thing will come chasing me, am I right?" I almost laugh out of nervousness. It's a dream. It can't hurt me anyways, right?

"He's, uh...busy." He hesitates.

"What do you mean busy?" I start to get worried. But at least he's not busy with me. "Wait, he?" The shadow nods. "No, that thing will never be a 'he' to me. 'He' is not real. 'He' will forever and always be an 'it' to me." I cross my arms.

"... Ouch." He says, rubbing his arm anxiously.

"Oh. Right. Uh.." I trail off. Way to go. Even manage to mess up a civil conversation in my dreams.

"Don't. It's fine." He murmurs out, trying to fill the air. I don't know why I feel that bad, he's not real. Why should it effect me?

"So." I say, clearing my throat. "Why haven't you, uh, been around lately?" I can feel a blush rising to my cheeks. Why am I being embarrassed about kind of missing him?

"I mean its cause you haven't shown up for a while and I'm... curious." My voice is stronger this time, trying to explain myself and not seem obsessed. Which I'm not, I swear.

"Things have come up, for now this is the only way we can communicate." He says, seriously. I was expecting his usual chuckle, but it never came.

"Oh..." I trail off. A wave of disappointment rushes through me. Why should I feel like this over a shadow, a character of my imagination, he doesn't exist. He isn't real.

"Hayley?" He asks.

"Yeah?"

"Wake up."

And with that, in the blink of an eye, I was back in Mel's bedroom with her nowhere in sight. I lazily nudge myself off of the bed ending up on her fuzzy warm carpet. Downstairs, I can hear Melissa humming a tune way off key. I decide to rest my eyes for a few minutes, I have the time since I don't take too long to get ready in the mornings unlike Mel who takes over an hour. The carpet smells like sex and sweaty feet and I crinkle my nose in disgust before setting my head back down again.

Hayley, the time. The voice peers through my mind again. I just grunt and return to my relaxation.

COME ON HAYLEY GET YOUR LAZY ASS UP YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE!!

My eyes shoot open only to see a used towel a few feet away. I lift my head up to look at Mel's alarm clock, which reads 8:03am.

...Wait.

"SHIT!" I yell as I jump to my feet, grabbing my clothes. School starts at 8:30 and Joe comes around here at 8:15, leaving me with practically no time to get ready.

I do my morning routine about as twice as fast as I normally would, quickly brushing my hair and teeth as well as slapping on some makeup and my normal clothes. Running downstairs, I could hear the bubbles and smell the bacon cooking on the stove.

"Morning sleepyhead!" Melissa looks at me with a big smile on her face.

"I could have made us late, why the hell didn't you wake me up?!" I exclaim, a little too loudly. She doesn't seem phased by it as she's used to my morning crankiness.

"You just looked so cute and peaceful, I didn't want to disturb that. You're like a little puppy." She giggles.

"What's up?" I look at her, tilting my head slightly.

"Whatcha mean?" She's still smiling.

"You're never like this. usually by now you'd add in some sarcastic comment. You're all cheerful its weird. What happened?" I don't even care how mean that sounds, I don't hate her happiness, really, this just isn't like her.

Her eyes flicker behind me for a brief moment, then back to me. "Noooooothhiiinggg....."

I don't hesitate to spin around and literally jump onto the kitchen table, her following me just a second too late. A card is resting in the middle of the table next to a black rose type flower, and I manage to grab them just as her body collides with mine, both of us ending up on the floor. We stay down there wrestling for a minute before I jump up in victory.

"Dearest Melissa," I open the card and read it out loud. "I can't wait to see you tonight," I wiggle my eyebrows up and down, jokingly. She just looks at me blushing. I continue reading the rest of the sappy note filled with a poem and a little message.

"So what's new with this? People like you, whats so different?" I give her a gaze.

"Well they've never been as sweet as this, let alone keep it a secret. I love mystery! It could be anyone! What if it's Matt? Oh my God what if it's Jake? I could have sworn he was looking at me in Chemistry class like this whole week. What do you think? No, don't tell me, I like the mystery." She starts to ramble.

I just smile and walk over to the stove, the bacon resting extra crispy in the pan. Reaching over, I grab a handful and shove them in my mouth, chewing on them heavily.

Hey, moron, there's this thing called school.

"Oh shut up!" I sigh.

"What?" Melissa looks at me, obviously confused.

"Uh nothing, sorry." I mumble, looking off to the clock. That just happens to let me know we have about half a minute until Joe runs by. I curse under my breath and sling my bag over my shoulder. Melissa seems to notice and does the same, both of us taking long fast steps until we reach the stop.

"You're a little eager." She looks at me.

"I just don't want to be late today, that's all." I reply. Right on que, Joe rolls along in the bus reaching out his doors.

"Hayls, Melissa," He smiles and tips his hat as we enter. I flash a smile back but Melissa just keeps on walking. She never really conversed much with Joe, it's sad.

The ride is spent me listening to Mel talk about her 'mystery man' and other things I really doubt were of importance. In no time we're at the school, meeting up with Matt and the rest of the group, Melissa making an effort to flirt with him and Jake more than she already does. I stop myself from making gagging noises.

The bell goes and we enter our biology class heading to our usual seats; Mel and Matt in the front and mine always being in the back. The geeky science teacher arrives 5 minutes late, as always, and begins yet another boring lesson on things I don't care about. I put my head on my desk, slipping in my headphones and yanking my hood up while I drift off into sleep.

"STAY AWAY FROM HER YOU BASTARD!" A scream awakes me. My head bolts up to an unpleasant surprise. The room is slightly dimmed and everyone in the classroom is turned to face me, a blank hypnotizing expression on their faces. And their eyes are all glowing red. I jump out of my seat and have my back pressed against the wall. They all just tilt their heads at me eerily, all seeming to be in sync.

I slap my face hoping to wake up from this nightmare. It does nothing.

"No no no NO NO NO!" I scream and run out of the room. The school hallways are different. The fluorescent lights are dimmed and flickering. The usually pale white linoleum floor is now full of dust and grime. Students are aimlessly walking through the halls, all with those terrifying all-too-familiar eyes.

My legs start to work and I bolt through the halls, running as fast as I can pushing everyone out of my way. A sharp turn leads me to the girls bathroom where I rush into a stall, slamming the door behind me. I slunk down the wall of the stall and bury my head in my knees. The pinkish grey walls seem to enclose me.

I hear a shuffling noise as someone enters the bathroom. I cover my mouth with my hands trying my best to silence my sobs. The footsteps come to a stop right outside my stall. The air that is caught in my lungs is dying to come out, a burning sensation fills my throat and chest. Unbearable moments pass and I sharply exhale.

My door is swung open, and looking up to my horror is Jessica. A bloody, rotting, disfigured Jessica floats in the doorway. I'm paralysed. Everything becomes silent, the only sound is the dripping noise of blood coming off of her clothes. She just hangs there, her head tilted and her eyes red just like the rest.

I scream as a smile spreads across her lips, exposing jagged teeth with decaying flesh hanging loosely off of them. She jerks towards me and I shove my face into the corner of the stall, waiting for my parish.

I'm being shaken and soon my screams are mixing with other voices. I look up to see Melissa in the stall bending down beside me, rubbing my back. Over her shoulder I see Matt just standing there, a terrified expression on his face he is failing to hide.

Once I have calmed down and stopped shaking, Melissa walks down with me to the first floor of the school, making sure I'm alright getting home. She's always been here for me, through everything, and never seemed to doubt my stories.

"W-what happened this time?" I asked, a shake still to my voice.

"Nothing too much, you kinda just tripped out in the middle of class and ran out. Matt and I followed you to the bathroom once we heard your scream." She told me looking forward.

"It's a good thing I didn't make a complete fool out of myself this time. Remember last year when I flipped over the desk and almost punched the lights out of Mrs. Anderson?" I tried to muster up a laugh.

Melissa smiled. "Yeah and they treated you like you had the black plague or something. But I made Matt beat up whoever said anything about it."

I swear she had Matt wrapped around her finger, practically begging her for attention. Why does he have to be told to do things for me, why can't he help on his own?

"I think I've got it from here, thanks." I say as I walk out of the school doors, leaving my friend behind. From there all I do is run. Run until I'm numb.

An hour later I'm cutting through the Library, my eyes stinging from all of the tears. I don't even bother to close my eyes as I pass the familiar white abandoned house. It's just a building, I tell myself. It can't do any more harm. I turn my head to look at it, to finally face my fears. But I wasn't ready for what I saw.

Construction workers were at the site, working on the exterior of the house to make it presentable, men in orange vests flooding through the upper levels with boxes of tools.

I don't realize I've gone up to the lot before I'm screaming at them.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!" Panicked tears start to flow through my eyes.

"Relax, kid." An older man walks up to me. His uniform is covered in dirt, tools are hanging off his belt, and a nail gun is in one hand. "We're just here to clean things up. The town's opening the place back up."

My whole heart stops.

"YOU CAN'T DO THIS! SOMETHING TERRIBLE HAS HAPPENED THERE AND IT WILL AGAIN IF YOU DON'T LEAVE IT ALONE!" I'm pleading at this point. The man slightly laughs at my pathetic attempts and walks away.

I race back to safety, back to my house, its brown stone inviting me in. Slamming the door behind me, I slide my back down glassy surface and cry.


	7. Chapter 7

I've come to a realization: my happiness is a curse. Every time I am actually content with my life, something clicks in the universe to sabotage that little ball of light. If I ever get married, I wouldn't be surprised if the world just exploded on the wedding day. If only that had happened earlier I would be saved from this living nightmare.

But no, here I am in a small, unknown town, somewhere in U.S-freaking-A. Slowly going through insanity in a world so useless. Spinning around, doing the same routine every moment of its existence until it just stops existing. Just like me.

Now I'm standing in front of this old brick school wondering why I even bother trying. It's not like it will help my future. If anything, it actually makes it worse. That is if I did have a future, which I don't. That's just something I know. There's no escape, so all I can do is get by as easily as possible.

With a deep breath, I enter the school doors to unexpectedly find students swarming the front entrance. Among the crowd, I instantly spot Melissa, leaning against the wall and twirling her hair while talking to Jake. Apparently it's never too early to flirt when you're Mel. Unfortunately, she spots me and begins to break through the crowd of people.

"Heya Hayls! Feeling better?" She asks, cheerily as usual. Yes, because someone can get over a mental breakdown so easily. I don't say anything, just give her a shrug and a smile. It's not like she could hear me through all of the chatter around us.

"There's an assembly today, wanna dip?" She nudges me playfully.

Usually I would get out of school as fast as possible, but this time the words just won't come out. I shake my head in response, and she just shrugs and walks away with her latest boy-toy towards the bathroom. Gross.

Soon enough we are escorted inside the auditorium. It's set like a theatre; rows of red seats facing an upraised stage with all sorts of technical equipment fit for any type of performance. Like all schools, ours is very humid, the air tinged with a strange odour I can't seem to name.

I make my way to the front row to one of the only seats left untaken. I slouch down and put in an earbud, not looking forward to whatever the school was planning on lecturing us on today.

Instead of the principle coming on stage and practically boring us to death, the curtain opens to reveal a set of instruments. 2 Microphone stands, 2 guitars, 1 bass and a drum kit sits along the stage. Right on que, a group of 4 boys walks across the platform, taking their places by the instruments. One of them seems to catch my eye. He is around 5'9, short brown hair, wearing a pair of jeans and a t-shirt fitting him oh so well. He smiles confidently, grabbing the mic. I immediately recognize him as the guy from the bus who gave me my iPod. The others were the typical music-geeks, apart from the one beside bus-guy who had messy dyed red hair and tattoos peaking out of his shirt sleeve.

"Hi there! You might not know us but we just transferred here from across town. The school district has decided to spread a music program throughout the town. We're here to kick start it, an introduction to show you what potential you could have in music. So without further ado,let's get started." He speaks confidently and comfortably to the crowd.

I hear mumbles from the students around me, cooing over his looks and charm. Oh great, he's one of those people. I could already tell he would fit in with the populars so easily, but worst of all be one of the suckers falling into Mel's possession. There goes my chance at friendship.

Soon enough, they start playing their music and I slunk even further in my seat. I use this as an opportunity to zone out, take a step away from reality for a little while. My mind wanders, bringing up memories from when I was young.

It's sometime in the summer. I'm on a swingset with a young Jessica right beside me, the both of us sporting the biggest smiles imaginable. We were obviously laughing at something, I just can't seem to remember what. Another flash and we're a little older, starting our first day of middle school. We were both nervous but walked into the building hand-in-hand, supporting one another. Everything from then was pure.

The image fades, and is quickly replaced by darkness. Flashes of the twisted grin of a frightening shadow. My best friends partly devoured body. The scene from the school bathroom.

A feeling of panic consumes me and I force myself to snap out of it.

Slowly lifting my gaze, I find the boy from the bus looking down on me with a sympathetic look on his face. Was it really that obvious? He feels sorry for me, he can probably tell how much of an outcast I am.

His eyes swiftly change to look around the rest of the room. Taking out an earbud, I decide to watch the performance.

The boy is at center stage, singing and playing the guitar. The sound that came out of it was simply breath taking, it's so hard to describe. It was a mixture of a whole bunch of styles, not too heavy but not too light, making a perfect balance. Each instrument had a highly effective part, the little subtleties making it that much better.

They carried on a few more songs until the principle came out and dismissed us. Students quickly rushed out and the performers were putting away the instruments, leaving me looking like a deer in headlights in the seats. After a few minutes, I nervously walked up to the stage where bus boy was packing up his guitar.

"H-hey." I stuttered out. No reply. "That was really good." I tried again, with the same results. Three time's the charm. "Can I have your guitar pick?" Still, my existence was being ignored. You know what they say 'If you first you don't succeed, try try again.' , not 'try try try try try try again until you die of embarrassment.'. With a sigh I turned around and left, trying to save what dignity I had left.

In the courtyard, I spot Melissa and her boy toy behind the bleachers. Ew. Can that girl stay away from anything with a penis? Wait, don't answer that.

"Hey." I nearly have a heart attack as a voice creeps up behind me.

"Jesus Christ.." I mutter, my hand still on my chest from the scare.

"Sorry. About earlier, and now I guess too. I tend to sneak up on people, as you now know." The boy from earlier smiles warmly at me.

"No problem. I'm used to it." I mumble, looking at the ground.

"Well you shouldn't."


	8. Chapter 8

"Hey." I nearly have a heart attack as a voice creeps up behind me.

"Jesus Christ.." I mutter, my hand still on my chest from the scare.

"Sorry. About earlier, and now I guess too. I tend to sneak up on people, as you now know." The boy from earlier smiles warmly at me.

"No problem. I'm used to it." I mumble, looking at the ground.

"Well you shouldn't." His smile doesn't fade.

I stare at him for a few seconds. He's out of his performance clothes and now in somewhat regular attire- wearing black skinny jeans and a patterned sweater along with some vans. They say someone's shoes says a lot about a person, which I quite frankly never understood since they're just freaking shoes and are meant for walking. And fashion.

"So-" "I-" we both start talking at the same time. "You first," I tell him trying to ease the awkwardness. "No, you. My apologies." He replies.

"I was just going to say that you look very familiar. Do I know you from somewhere?" I ask him nervously.

He chuckles. "No, I don't think so. I mean, besides this morning where you dropped your iPod on the bus." I cringe at the memory. "I'm Tyler, by the way." He holds out his hand.

"Hayley." I take his hand and shake it briefly. I can feel my hands slightly shaking from nervousness. "Sorry, just not used to formal introductions."

"Understandable. I just like how classy things were way back then. You know, I believe in times where chivalry wasn't dead and all of that." He replies with a smile. Damn, this guy is practically beaming with glee. I don't know why he even bothered to come talk to me as before it seemed like he wanted nothing to do with me. Is this a prank? I bet it is. Rebecca doesn't know when to stop, I don't think she'll ever get tired of torturing me.

"Tyler!" A voice calls from behind me. Turning around, I see the red headed boy playing alongside Tyler from before. "Hey, I think we should get going, it's almost one-fifteen" The two of them are now beside eachother.

"Oh, yeah, right." Tyler scratches the back of his neck. "Josh, I was just talking to Hayley here. Hayley, meet Josh, a friend of mine." He introduces us. Josh gives me an uneasy look.

"Yeah, friend, I guess you could put it that way." Josh retorts back but earns a swift smack in the head from Tyler. "Nice to meet you, Hayley. Cool shoes." I look down at my feet and then to his own to see us sporting matching shoes, his just about twice as big as mine.

My eyes widen after hearing another voice come up from behind me. "Well hello there." I quickly get shoved aside, hair thrown in my face as Rebecca moves between us. "What are you two doing over here by yourselves?" She traces a finger down Josh's chest. Tyler blushes.

"Uh we were just talking with Hayl-" Tyler starts but is cut off by the blonde infront of him.

"Oh! Hayley! Didn't see you there. Look, you're clearly annoying these two handsome men," she gives them a wink, "so you should go make yourself useful- I mean, chase air, whatever it is that you do, and do us all the honour of leaving them alone. Run along now." She ends in a snarky fake-smile.

My blood boils. So good news, Rebecca didn't set them up to this. Bad news, she's sucked them in anyways so goodbye to that. Had to bring up my "episodes" too. She always does this; whoever she wants, she gets, and doesn't stop until she has them in her grasp. That usually doesn't take that long as by the end of the day she probably has some of their DNA on some part of her body. I shudder.

A look is given at me by the girl, her hands shooing me away. Behind her, Tyler glances at his watch. Sighing in defeat, I turn and walk away. "Now where were we?" I hear fading in the distance.

The bleachers come closer and closer into view as I run towards them, tears pricking my eyes. I quickly find my way and sit hidden underneath them as I let the tears flow. How come this always happens? For once our school gets new kids and she manages to scare them away from me in less than two minutes. These guys could have been my fresh start, two new people who have no idea about the history of this town. No idea about what fucked up things have happened to me and what fucked up things I have done. People who haven't seen me go off my rocker. And now she basically pre-told them about my frequent trips to crazy town. I swear to God there's no hope for me out there.

"Are you okay?" My body jumps as a voice speaks to me. My eyes dart around, but the only people I can see are Rebecca, Josh, and Tyler waaay out of earshot, and some guys playing soccer on the field.

"Seriously, I hate seeing you crying. It hurts knowing that I can't do anything to help." I quickly wipe my tears away- or at least try to before more slip out.

"Oh, it's just you." I relax slightly. Of course, it's been a while since I've heard him, it's just about time he showed up again. I know I can't fake sanity forever.

"Wow, thanks for the enthusiasm. And, for the record, you don't have to fake anything." the familiar voice replies.

"How did you-" I begin to ask but am cut off.

"You project your thoughts waaay too much. Gives me a headache sometimes." He replies.

"Projecting? Thoughts? What?" I ask. What is this, some sci-fi movie?

"Yeah. You think too loud." I'm told. "Let me put it this way- you know what you see in shows and films? Those superheroes with telekinesis who can move stuff with their minds? It's kind of like that, but instead you move/broadcast your thoughts instead of moving items."

I scrunch my face. Great, now even a made up person think's I'm a freak.

"I'm not-"

"Shut up."

A laugh interrupts us from where Josh, Tyler, and Rebecca are. More people have joined around them. Everyone seems to be laughing, but Tyler is just looking at the ground, not seeming to pay attention. A sigh escapes my lips.

"Don't worry about them. Everything will be okay." He tries to console me.

I laugh sadly, tears still in my eyes. "Yeah, sure it will. That has got to be the most cliche thing I have ever heard. And the least helpful." I bury my head in my knees.

"Hey Hayls! Who're ya talking to?" Melissa sticks her head under the bleachers. I jump up and brush myself off.

"Oh, uh, I was just on the phone. My mom needs me to pick up some paper towels from the store on my way home." I try to cover up. I don't like letting Melissa know or see the strange things I do or that happens to me, even though she has been the only person to not freak out, I'd like to seem as normal as possible.

"Okay, well come out! There are two major hotties from the assembly that are out here that I can not wait to get my hands on. C'mon." She extends her arm. Rolling my eyes, I hold her hand as she guides me out of the bleachers.

An uneasy feeling makes its way into my system as we make our way towards the front of the school. Melissa starts to go on about some gossip she heard around, talking about the new boys and who she'd rather sleep with. I can't help but tune her out as anxiety creeps onto me stronger and stronger, my system on high alert for whatever possible threat may come our way.

The bushes beside us shake as something comes running out. A scream slips through my lips, causing heads to look our way.

"Jeez Hayls," my best friend laughs, "I didn't know you were scared of chipmunks." she wipes tears away from her eyes.

"I-I'm not. It just startled me, that's all." I place my hand over my heart.

People around us start to focus back on their own conversations, and my eyes lay on Josh and Tyler, who are both looking at me. God, they saw that. How embarrassing. Now whatever Rebecca has told them is really going to show through with this proving her right. In the shadows by the front doors a pair of red eyes are found staring right at me, the dark figure leaning against the wall. Quickly averting my gaze, I see Tyler who looks at his watch once more before nudging Josh, and the two take off.

Well, just when I thought shit sucked, the world threw in two more people to add to hell with me.


	9. Chapter 9

*trigger warning, dawgs.

 

"You.... Cannot.... Escape.... Me..." A crackling, sickly voice creeps into my head. I stop dead in my tracks. 

No. No. No no no no. This can't be happening right now. 

"Haaayley, come on we're gonna be late for class." Melissa sings my name.

"I. I can't." My body feels frozen in fear. Shock. I could barely speak the words. 

A sinister laugh pierces my ears once more. My eyes meet the glowing red from the dark figure from earlier. Instead of leaning against the wall, it is now standing up straight, arms crossed. Its eyes are piercing my soul. I am petrified. 

"What's going on?" Melissa's voice softens, clueing in to the fact that something isn't right. 

"I-It's right there... staring. I c-can't." My shaking hand raises up to point to the spot the figure is in. Melissa's vision follows my hand.

"There's nothing there, Hayley. Just relax." She nudges my shoulder.

"You just don't get it. You don't understand. It's there. He... he spoke to me. I can't-" I try to explain but I'm cut off by a heavy sigh.

"Holy fuck. It's not real. Just go home." I'm surprised by Melissa's sudden change of energy. 

Everyone in the schoolyard is walking around normally as if the figure isn't standing right there. Going about their day totally normally. Imagine that; a life without all of this bullshit weighing them down. Without voices and figures and crippling nightmares. Without having to try not to react to what your mind throws at you when you're in public. Fuck this. 

I run.

Without thinking or looking back, I run. I don't know where to or where from, but I run because that's all I know what to do right now. The trees blur past me as my legs and feet take me as fast as they can. After a while they start to burn, but I ignore the pain. 

I don't know what's gotten into me. Why I'm so affected by this. It's not the end of the world, Melissa must have just been tired. But I don't understand why that heavy energy fell over me. 

Has she been faking? Has my only friend been faking this whole time? The only thing keeping me grounded? Is this it? 

I laugh to myself. The highlight of my life is having one friend. If I can call her that. 

After some time I find myself on the town's main bridge which crosses overtop an unforgiving river. An eerie calm comes over me. 

My hands tremble over the steel bars that overpass the rocky waters. Looking over my shoulder, the dark figure from earlier is on the other side of the bridge in a patch of shade, eyes still glowing red. 

"You know you want to." Its voice creeps in my thoughts again.

"No. I don't know. You don't know anything." I reply.

"On the contrary, I know everything. I know you. I know your life. I know your fate. And this is it."

What the hell is it talking about. Why would I want to kill myself over something like this.

"It's not because of her and you know that. It's everything. Look what your life has come to. This is it. It's over." It speaks again.

I mean, maybe he's right. It's not looking up from here. This isn't a life. I have nobody to say goodbye to, anyways. Nobody I'm leaving behind. In the end, I'm all alone. Just me. And the shadow, I guess. Not even the usual "friend" that pops into my head every so often is here now. Just me on my own. 

I hoist myself up on the railing.

So, this is it. The shadow's right. I don't have a job, I have no friends, no future, no hope. 

Glancing down, the rough rocky waters crash against the sides of the bay. It's a good drop down, hopefully it'll be done quick and painlessly. Whatever happens, I don't care.

"So long." I breathe into the wind as I let myself fall.


	10. Chapter 10

The wind seems to blast past my face for a brief moment before a pair of arms wrap around my body. 

"NOO!" I scream at the top of my lungs. This was supposed to be it. They can't take this away from me. They bring me back up over the railings and onto the ground of the bridge.

"LET GO OF ME GOD DAMNIT!!" I scream again. 

"No, not now, not today." A familiar voice tells me. I continue to scream and thrash my body around to get out of the person's embrace. A hand enters my view as they try to adjust their grip and I bite it.

"Calm down for Christ's sake, Hayley. Put those things away." It says again.

"NO!" a growl escapes my lips. The fuck?

"9-1-1 what's your emergency?" The person must have managed to fish out their phone as the emergency operators voice comes out over the speakerphone.

"Yes, I need an ambulance, southshore bridge. A girl tried to jump." My (un) saviour replied.

"Do you have her there with you? When did this happen?" The operator asked.

"Just a few minutes ago, around 1:15. Yeah, I have her down trying to make sure she doesn't bolt."

"Help is on the way, keep her there. Good job." The phone clicks off. 

"Shhhh, Hayley, you need to calm down before they get here." He begins stroking my hair.

My breathing starts to get back to normal and my screaming turns into choked sobs as I begin to cry. 

"That's better. Good girl." Why does he even care.

The sound of alarms can be heard getting closer as what I assume is the ambulance making its way to us. 

"Thank you sir- we can take it from here." A paramedic tells the boy holding me. 

"Do you know her name?" Another asks.

"It's Hayley, Hayley Walker." He answers back.

The paramedic sighs. "Not again."

Paramedics. Ambulance. Why would they need them if nothing happened to me? Unless...

"NO. NO I AM NOT GOING BACK THERE." I begin to thrash in the paramedics arms as they bring me towards the ambulance.

"YOU CANNOT BRING ME BACK THERE LET ME GO YOU SON OF A BITCH OR I SWEAR TO GOD-" I try to bite the persons arms but before I can a sharp pain is felt in my neck. 

"Mother fuckers.... I swear... to God... I'm going to... to.." everything starts to fade out as an extreme dizziness comes over me. 

"5mg Lorazepam administered. Prepare patient for transportation." One of the paramedics says to the other. Bitches drugged me. My head lolls over as my vision blurs. I can see the boy who "saved" me start to walk away.

"Sir, I never got your name" A paramedic asked.

"I never gave it." He responded back. 

Everything went black.

\--------------------------------

Bright lights blind my vision as I regain consciousness. What the hell is going on.

I try to sit up but am thrown back down by a pair of cuffs on my wrists strapping me down to the bed.

"What the fuck?!" Stupid fucking cuffs.

"Miss Walker, glad to see you're awake. Do you know why you're here?" I look over to see a man in a white lab coat sitting beside the bed. 

I give him a glare. "No, not a fucking clue. Get me out of here, and get these stupid cuffs off of me." I say sarcastically.

"If you stop with the vulgarity and promise you won't try to bite one of us again, then I will take them off."

I roll my eyes before nodding reluctantly. The man stands up and undoes my restraints.

"Now Miss Walker, it has come to my attention that you have been here before, correct? So I assume you are familiar with our policies here in the psychiatric ward. I'm going to be your doctor, Doctor Kay, you know how to contact me." He points to the button on the wall.

Sitting up in the bed, I grab a cup of water on the side table. I guess this will be my new room.

"An assessment will be taken in about half an hour where we can decide what to do next. Make yourself comfortable." He then leaves the room.

I get out of bed and walk around the room, making myself familiar with the surroundings. Trailing my hand on the wall, I memorize the familiar bumps and grooves of the wall, searching for something. The secret about this place is that in the psychiatric ward, the patients will carve their names in the wall, making their mark in time. For some it's like a comfort blanket, making something your own. For others its a 'fuck you' to the system. I don't know which one I was. 

I find myself in the last corner before finding this room's 'sweet spot', tons of names subtly carved into the wall near the floor behind the curtain covering the window. 

 

Jodie S.  
Taylor M.  
James Fran  
Kayla F.  
Krysten Wale  
Damion Gray  
Heather Polluck  
Tyler Joseph  
Olivia Jamison  
Daniel J.  
Shawn Crawford  
Leah Tyson  
Hayley Walker- I recognize the childish writing as my own. Probably one of my first visits here. It's nice to know it isn't too foreign of a place to me. Some names have tally's next to them where they document multiple visits. There are three next to mine. Huh, out of all of the rooms I've only been in this one three-- no four, times.

Feeling under the windowsill, I find a bobby pin. Each room that has names also has a hidden tool to make the names, since people brought in here are stripped of all belongings and left with the typical hospital gowns and slip on shoes. I add another tally to mine.

The sound of footsteps come down from the hall and I scurry to put the bobby pin back and jump on the bed. 

"Miss Walker," The doctor comes in, "Your intake assessment will begin now, please, this way."


End file.
